I wish I could die today – ZENNY

Stephen is coming back

Life is so cruel. More to it, it will never tell you what is coming and no matter how much you wanted things to happen, sometimes it will never go in your direction. It will hit you far from, stab you and sink so deep within. It is painful and unbearable.

I wish I could die today. Everything is covered with darkness. I can only see holes, where I wanted to escape from this tremendous throbbing reality – holes of death, the way to end it for me. I can still see Stephen in my dreary mind with the new girl, not just a girl but he soon wife to be.

How this thing happens in one blink? and becomes a lifetime of sorrow?

What did I do wrong?  Why I didn’t comprehend this thing will happen?

Why? why?  I want to stop asking myself and just drift apart from this heartbreak.

— 00—

“Zeny! Zeny!”  I woke up when I heard my sister’s Shane voice knocking at my bedroom door.

“Zeny! Zeny!”  She shouted.

I lifelessly stoop up and opened her.

“What happen? “She asked.

I stared at her. Of course she still doesn’t know what had happened. I am pretty sure she will be devastated.  Shane loves Stephen as a brother, and just like me she was waiting for his return too impatiently. I was about to open my mouth to explain when she cut me down.

“Stephen is on the phone, he wants to speak with you.” She said eagerly. “I thought you two met already at the airport, what happen to your eyes? Did you cry Zeny?”

Oh God, I need to tell her. But I think I couldn’t.  Tears just run down to my cheeks again and am starting to sob.

“Zenny…” she whispered. She couldn’t hide her fears, it might be her first time seeing me ruin. I slowly walked to reach the phone, Stephen is waiting. Maybe he will explain and tell me what’s going on. Or perhaps this is just a dream and he will tell me everything is fine, that he’s not getting married, that he still loves me. Wake up Zenny! I told myself, please wake up!

As I start to hold the phone up to my ear, I could hear my heart trembling so fast, so fast that I could hear only his husky voice, the voice that I thought would only whisper my name, the voice that I am afraid to lose.

Zenny.. can we talk?” he asked.

“Step..…” and I cried.


To be Continued…




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