CUTTING TIES

Are you good at cutting people off from your life? I believe that it doesn’t make sense to hold on to people that are making us unhappy and I know it is okay to let go. But before we have to do such sharp and sensitive chopping to break ties, there are things to consider and ponder:

“What was the problem?” Identify the problem, when it was started, how and why the issue became big? what did you do to prevent it?

“Am I taking it too far?” You have to understand the difference between having a disagreement or misunderstanding and being in danger. Hurting your feelings is not the same as being harmed by that people.

“Did I respect their feelings?”  Have you considered to stand in their shoes and give a wide perspective of thought? You can’t understand other’s feeling while justifying yours. Making fun of anyone’s feelings is out of respect too. Be openminded not only to your own feelings but to others as well.

“Did I ask the person where did we go wrong?” When a problem comes, one should ask and confront the other party.  You cannot just assume, pretend and conclude by yourself. You can’t just cut off people without constructive discussion and without knowing the real cause. Before you take the knife, face them and let them listen from your side. Don’t be a coward.

“Have they proven themselves untrustworthy?” Are you determined that you can’t trust them anymore? Have they breached confidentiality? Have they shown a lack of empathy?

“Am I being manipulated?” Are you certain that your decision is not influenced by other people? because when you get mad, manipulative people can turn the script well. Never look at schemer’s point of view, don’t make yourself believe in things that aren’t true.

“Am I sure to cut off this person? and never regret my decision?” If you are sure that the person brings only negativity in your life and you feel toxic while dealing with them, make it sure to end things in a healthy way: “whether you tell them directly that things aren’t working out or you just drop the ball on your relationship.”

Am I good at cutting people off?  Nope. I was the one who was cut off from their lives (funny it seems but it would be another story to share).

I never cut off people permanently in life, I don’t have that skill and stomach for that. I just avoided them, that’s all. I shut them off from my Facebook, IG or any other social media connected with them. I just break the meetings, the talking, let some space to breathe and never been close to them anymore. I am not that arrogant not to think of the 99 percent of their goodness against 1% mistake, you know what I mean.

I don’t want to eliminate any relationships forever because I am afraid to meet them in the middle of my journey and I have to taste my own blade. We don’t know, one day you might need them desperately because life is full of surprises and we don’t know what will happen next.