I DON’T FEEL LIKE DYING

 “If traveling was free, you’d never see me again.”

Since I was young, I always wonder how it feels to travel to different places. Because our family couldn’t afford such a luxury, I was happy to visit my relatives’ places every summer. My possess wandering was over when I entered the University. With so much hope, I know I can still travel after college and getting a job will help me eventually.

As soon as I got the job afterward, I went somewhere far from my hometown and away from my Parents. It was totally something new for me, I feel the freedom, one thing that I have wished for a long long time. But freedom comes with a responsibility, right? I think I abused it- I got pregnant, wedded, quit my job, took care of the baby and the rest are history.

It took me so long before I re-structured my life again. It seized me a lot of lessons from my experiences that I couldn’t even fathom before. I had to love one person to another before I could love myself.  It took me a lot of courage to accept what I cannot change and finally appreciate, that life is beautiful after all.

So, I started to live again and woke up from my sleeping dream – to travel -one at a time.

I truly enjoyed wandering to some places now as I had imagined before. It is breathtaking for me. It is a little enjoyment after months or years of working hard. It is an award to myself from myself since no one would ever compensate me.

While I am savoring this pleasure, few persons believe that I’m overspending my money, that seems I have to expend only what is most needed and keep the rest in savings. Besides, other people expect that if you are able to travel, you must be rich (how I wish).

And yes, I know I need to save, how could a single parent not think of that? do you think I am not afraid of my future?  but then, if I will just keep on saving without spending, living without fun and worrying without assurance, how would I live my life again? Tell me.